Santa Craft Fail

Santa was tired of being overshadowed by all of the other shiny balls on the tree.

The payback continues

Most of you might remember this post from not so long ago. Well, apparently the payback continues. My son received this from my mil:

and this:

One of these days she is going to run out of filthy gifts to give, then what will she do? Give a box of mud?

MIA

I know I have been MIA lately. I shall return, with the most hideous gifts ever! Stay tuned!

Send 'em in!

Do you have a hideous gift that you have received from a well-meaning person (or perhaps, not so well-meaning)? If so, please send a pic to:

kelleyandjason@yahoo.com

Fancy footwear

Lauren received these shaggy beauties as a Valentine's Day gift from her in-laws. Not exactly Bally's finest. A subtle hint, eh Lauren? In return you should give them Pledge and a rag. Do I spy Nemo in there somewhere?

An assault on the eyes

Yuck.

Q: What do these things have in common?

Answer: MESS

These were the gifts given to my children by my mother-in-law. She told us that my husband had toys with a lot of pieces when he was young, and now it is "payback time". I am being completely serious, she ACTUALLY said that! The Zubber does not have a lot of pieces, but on the package it warns parents that this WILL STAIN your clothes, furniture, skin, etc. My daughter opened it up to play, and was instantly covered in an oily film. You may as well give the child a bottle of olive oil to play with, may even be cleaner than this. I think someone should pour oil on my mil and then dump Paperoni and Pixos on her while she walks across a floor covered with marbles.

The gift that keeps on giving

A relative, who shall remain nameless (but you know who you are), gave my son some candy this Christmas that expired in 2006. If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times, don't buy candy at Big Lots!

Who let the dogs out?

This is a "County Dogpound Monster Truck" that my son received for his birthday. This features Hannibal Lecter type dogs, and other various thugs dressed in prison garb, apparently being rounded up by the truck to go back to the big house. This is easily the most nonsensical toy I have ever seen.

Happy New Year!

For your New Year's Resolution, each and every one of you should resolve to send me pics of your hideous gifts! I'll show you mine if you show me yours!

Merry Christmas!

Have a very merry Christmas!! I will be waiting to see the pics of your hideous gifts!

Keep your eyes peeled...

...for any hideous gifts you may receive this holiday season. Send in pics to:

kelleyandjason@yahoo.com

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

She's nuts

My son is deathly allergic to peanuts, and has been his whole life. So what did his aunt give him for Christmas last year?

He was never her favorite nephew.

Thanksgiving crapty

If you are planning on giving crafts as gifts this Thanksgiving, please give something cute like this:

NOT like this Thanksgiving crapty (literally, it looks like):

Send 'em in!

Have you received a truly hideous gift? Send a pic to:

kelleyandjason@yahoo.com

Happy Halloween!

A Gutsy Gift

An unsuspecting child received this Hello Kitty anatomy doll for her birthday. Do we really need to see the innards of an otherwise sweet and innocent toy? What is this really teaching the child, that their own organs have faces and hair bows? Someone was on something when they came up with this gruesome idea. I will never look at another Hello Kitty in the same way again.

Crafty + crap = crapty

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Please don't make crapty.

Make a cool item, like this old guy pumpkin:

Who incidentally reminds me of Dick Van Dyke:

Thanks for listening.

Here comes Squarnta Claus