I am not amoosed.

Jeannie C. sent in this very p*ssed off moose she received as a birthday gift. I would be mad too if I had a lightning bolt for antlers and oversized Q-tips for legs.

The Big Kahuna

Jen W. sent in this beauty. She writes, "We received this... thing, for Christmas from my husband's brother. The letter that accompanied it described my brother-in-law's trip through a touristy novelty shop, and how he immediately thought it was something my husband might like. I don't know which scares me more: that he thought somebody might *like* this thing, or that he was actually *right* about my husband loving it. It has been "decorating" our master bedroom since 2003, and my husband refuses to part with it."

C'mon Jen, try to get on board! Who wouldn't love a palm tree that gave birth to a Jerry Garcia Buddha head?

Desperate times call for desperate measures

To make ends meet, the Christmas nutcracker has been moonlighting as other holiday icons, as seen here. Someone should give the poor guy some tips, like don't hold the horseshoe upside-down, and the rectangular white beard is for the Uncle Sam gig in July only. Geez.

Whoooo is it?

Some unsuspecting child received this exquisite cat-like owl slug. Why must people do this to children? Pure evil, I say.

Trash to treasure

This is a shirt-shaped wall hanging. At first glance I thought it was just concentric circles, but I looked deeper and found a bunch of olives designed by Andy Warhol. Maybe I will forge his signature in the corner and sell it on ebay.

Here lies basketball...(part 2)

R.I.P.

Basketball was a great sport, and now it has come to its final resting place. Again. Here is the participation trophy my children received for basketball this year. Please don't let Morty the Mortician order again next time. The kids are starting to get depressed.

For a hairy time, let's play...

Now I have seen it all. Sure to be on the shelves of your local Big Lots next to the plastic grasshopper dissection kit.