Saturday, January 31, 2009

Well, well, well.

Can you guess what this is?

It is a lamp. In the form of a wishing well. You pull the little bucket and the lamp turns on. It was included in the sale of a home to "sweeten the deal". The buyers scrambled to buy it once they learned that the lamp was a part of the deal. Who could pass up such a treasure? Will someone give me a penny so I can flip it in the well and wish it away?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Ugliest Award in the World

This is an award that was given to a child. It is a bobble head trophy pen. This child may become quite an underachiever if this is the type of award he can expect to receive.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fancy Fly Swatting

Here we have this lovely fly swatter sent in from one of our readers. It was actually received as a favor at a bridal shower. Perhaps the bridal shower took place near a pig sty on a farm, and they wanted the guests to be prepared. Or maybe the swatters were only at certain tables where there were particularly stinky guests who are known for not showering. It is hard to tell.
At any rate, you can tell that the swatter has been put to good use by observing the various stains:

Beautiful AND useful.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

From the Island of Misfit Toys...

Overheard in the toy shop:
"I want to make a bear."
"No, we should make a cat!"
"A bear!"
"A cat!"
"Oh well, let's compromise."

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Eye-popping fun

From the Hyperthyroidism Toy Collection we have these lovely dinosaurs, sure to guarantee several years of therapy for your children:

Marty Feldman would be proud.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The World's Ugliest Necklace Award goes to...

Wow. This looks like it was made from 1970s chandelier parts. Maybe Diana Ross could pull this off but that would be about it. Yikes.

Woo hoo!

I just won my first blog award! Thanks so much to Bill at Blog of the Day Awards!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Happy weekend!

Happy weekend everyone! With a long 3 day weekend ahead, there should be plenty of time to dig out those hideous gifts you received for the holidays! Snap a pic and send 'em along to:
I would also like to invite you to peruse the blog archive and enjoy the hideous gifts from 2008!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ho, ho, huh?

This is a kids eraser. I think it is supposed to be Santa. But it looks more like a duck with burn holes for eyes and Mary Poppins feet. Or a very jaundiced Angelina Jolie. You decide.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


This is what happens when you cross a bat with an armadillo:

It looks like it is crouching to relieve itself. What are those holes for? Pencils? Or is this a classic case of someone tried to "take it out back and shoot it"? I don't think I would want this thing crouching on my desk. Especially near my papers.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mini mutant

One word sums this up: Chernobyl

Friday, January 9, 2009

King of Tacky

Here we have this monstrosity of a souvenir from Florida, sent in from one of our faithful readers. She received it as a gift from one of her students. An adult student, that is. Thankfully there is a sign telling us exactly what it is, so we are not mistaking it for something else. Because it looks like so many other things. That alligator perched up there looks 1. extremely bored and 2. severely depressed as I would be too if I had to be a part of this thing.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My eyes have shriveled up and fallen out

Here we have this ridiculously ugly vase. Yes, vase. Who on this planet would actually put flowers in this thing?? It looks like a petrified pineapple. That someone tried to kill by shooting it. To put it out of its misery. And mine.

New poll

Please check out the new poll to the right and tell me how you like this blog so far!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Surprise from Florida

Being a lover of science, I was so excited to have received my first Grow Your Own Penicillin kit! Then I read the enclosed post card and realized that the gift was meant for eating:

What a real treat!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Hobbling down the bunny trail

Looks like this poor guy had a visit from Annie Wilkes.

Note: He really was made that way- at first I thought that his head could twist around, but it is sewn on. His feet are totally facing backwards.